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| alright, this one goes to my best friend in the world:
Jasmine,
Alright well this month in a half, I've talked to you maybe 3 times, I never see you anymore and so I've taken into my mind that you must be so happy that I got knocked out of your life. I know you got this new boyfriend and everything, and hes a really cool guy, I have nothing against him at all, I'm not jealous of you guys, I'm not trying to break you guys up. I just want to hang out with my best friend, the one I've had since freshmen year, and the friend I've had since 3rd grade. I was there before him, and I'll be here after him. But I'm feeling like I've been pushed away somehow. And after him, we wont be as good friends cause we lost contact for a long time. If this goes on for a long time, your gonna graduate and go to college and then I'll never see or hear from you ever again. I'll just be a page in ur life that you've just finished reading. I've told you most of this already hoping for some change, but I see the same thing happening no matter what. You dont understand, I used to look forward hanging out with my "sis" on the weekends, crackin jokes and just friggin chilling at your house. I'm probably not the best friend in your life, but I try. Just remember I was there when your relationships have gone sour, who'd you call me, and I'd choose to stay up late talking to you making you happy so you'll sleep better that night. I......Idk anymore jasmine, well I hope you do read this, but seeing as how good this worked last time, it was pointless to work. You told me you felt the same way, then why dont you just do something. I wish it didnt take a letter to make you kinda see how I feel, and I'll feel everything from you is going to be just out of pity, but you know what, I'll take pitiness right now cause it better than the nothing I get......
I'm done, I cant write anymore cause it just doesnt matter
From: some kid you used to know | | |
| So yeah I'm trying to keep this thing updated but with my busy schedule of doing nothing, its getting hard. But yeah the mountains, they were no fun. I got away from everything, but in a sense, it was still with me, I felt like crap the whole time. This girls got me spinning I swear. I'm getting so dizzy the words that stayed deep down inside me might come out at her. But I'll try talking about other things. ummm yeahhh today was fun I guess. At lunch Greg, Jonnie, and I went to Micky D's for lunch, saw acouple buddies there, did some shit talkin, the usual. hmm I got acouple compliments about my cologne and how I dressed, it was kinda weird but hey it happens. Lets see what else is there, ummmmm idk Halloween was kinda fun. My friend Cody and I went walking around the neighborhood just looking for girls and see how much they were showing off, but hey if they didnt wear it, we wouldnt do it, but its there so why not. Its not you girls wear it cause its "comfortable" or "just cause" they do it for a tease, then we get cock blocked, oh well thats how life is, chicks dont like me anywayz. But I realized a shit load of people in my friends neighborhood know me and I have no clue who they are, abunch of cute girls, but yeah, oh yeah I was also informed that I look like the lead singer of Hawthorne Heights, but yeah thats fun, bye bye kiddies<3 | | |
| wow, ok its been awhile since I've written in this thing, it doesnt really interest me, but yeah theres alot of good stuff going on in my life and alot of bad. Like school sucks and I have a month and 2 weeks till me license, So yeah and ummmm I've been a real loner latly, dont really call anyone or do anything with anyone anymore. I've just kinda but myself in a little nutshell, and just dont wanna leave. I feel so emo. lol uh oh well yeah hmmm what...else... ummm I've been realy depressed latly, and just idk, I'm not myself anymore, people talk to me, and I wear that smile to make them feel comfortable, but theres John again, careing for everyone else except himself. I do everything to please people, but never do things for myself, its saddening. I feel like I just wanna blow up at someone, but I keep my cool, cause I dont wanna scare anyone. I dont really feel like going to some psycholigist or a shrink or w/e. My lack of sleep doesnt help much with everything I'm going threw and I just need to get away. This weekend I'm going to the mountains for halloween. That should be a good place to get away and just not think about anything except relaxing. I'm gonna think about her though. My lonliness is a major part of the dieing in me. I want to be with her so bad, but theres someone else in her life that complicates things, she doesnt really say alot about us getting together, but deep down inside I know she does, but I wish she could dig down inside her and find that answer to. Well I'm gonna go, I'll write in here again sometime, its a little bit of a way to help me just get everything off my back. well...bye. .. . ... . . | | |
| hey everyone, Its July 6th, hope everyone had an awesome July 4th, "Thank you for the spectacular visual show that I have never seen before!" - Cody Lancaster lol those are the wise words of my buddie after sitting on the beach, surrounded by morter cannons firing up an awesome show. but yeah now on to other business. ummm last blog I left was on June 27, so yeah alots happened since then, ummm on Thursday, the 29 I had my behind the wheel, it was fun but you know kinda scary at the same time. W/e tho I have the driving ability now. ummmm on that Friday, Jasmine Friggin Liu, my bestestestestest friedn in the world left for Australia for 3 weeks *sadface* it sucks but hey its ok last night at about 11, She called me from there, and it was actually Wednesday and here it was still tuesday, crazy huh lol. yeah well also on that friday I left for Pismo beach to camp with my family and friends. It was alright, not everything I expected it to be but w/e. I'm back now so its all good. I forgot to take pictures *sadface* uugghhh I always forget but its alright I'll post some new pictures on my mysapce soon.... www.myspace.com/mycollapsedlungs
yeah yesturday we unloaded, washed the motorhome, and put it back into the motorhome storage thing. and then I spent the rest of the night on the computer since I had been away from it for like a week uugghhh. yeah today I wooke up about 10 minutes ago, and likeI decided to write in my xanga. Well yeah I'm bored so just comment this thing so I can have something to red *happyface* <333 much love ppl | | |
| So yeah this weekend was fun I guess, Saturday ummm I dont remember what I did in the morning, but I remember cody coming over, and we went to taco bell. Then like Brett and his wife and her sister came over and my dad gave him an Elvis picture which Brett loves. And then after that me and cody took off to some girl Jaimes house, then we went to this girl Amandas house, which I really like. And hung out there for alittle while then we went to this gas station down the street, and cody threw all these 1 dollar bills on the tables and started going threw them, and then the chick just looked at him and was all "are you alright" and codys like "....mmhmm" so then we took off to Codys parents house so he could pick up his pay check so we'd he'd have MONEY. sweet. then we went back to his casa, figured out what we were gonna do next, then we went to the mall. he got a shirt and belt buckle. and like I finally, after 3 weeks of waiting and about 10 times of asking, they had only 1 copy left of From first to Last, and so I got it. lol I'm finally happy. then after that, we went back to casa again and watched "Pimp My Ride," which was pretty lame...mmhmm yeah and then after that we went over to Bretts Casa and when we got there, he was drunk lol. so I played Monopoly with his wife and her sister. then you know who shows up....AMANDA. shweet, even tho she was being all crappy that night uugghhhhh w/e tho it was good to see her. then at about 2 We went back to Codys, and stayed up till about 4 and then went to bed. Then we woke up at like 10:40 having to go to our Buddie Kyles Bday party at Johns Incredible Pizza. That was fun....christy was there *happyface* she looked good, and so did her friend like usual. then after the party we went to Randals house and watched everyone go swimming, then we just left cause we didnt wanna go. So from there we went to Christys house and hung out with her parents till she got there, but her parents are hella cool so yeah, we just hung out in the game room, losing to her dad at everything in there. lol yeah we suck, hes old.then christy and her friend showed up and then I found out that hey, Christys friend thinks I'm cute so like whoa. lol damn I'm like a magnet. But yeah we just hung out, went to taco bell again cause Christy and her friend were Hungry so like ok we cruised over there, and on the way back to there place, we listened to gangsta music....it was awesome lol. so then like yeah then christys b/f came and then left not like 10 seconds after he got there, it was weird, then my dad picked me up, we went to the store, and then I went home and got online till about 11 then I went to bed, I woke up at 6, told my mom I'm to tired to go to Summer school, and like she gave me a ration of shit, but finally said alright. so now I'm here typing you this and yeah, hmmmm I'll write in it again in acouple more days, tell you how my "Behind The Wheel" went and everything, alrighty then, lata <333 | | |
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